So I haven't posted anything in a good long while. It's not that I haven't had anything to say or even time to say it. It's that, for some reason or another I have yet to understand, I have felt like what I have to say doesn't matter as much, or is not as interesting as other people's posts. Many people that I know post about something truly meaningful to them, such as a pivotal moment in their life where they come to realize something and write about their life altering decision, or they post about their beliefs which show their true passion. I realized that all I ever write about is my life events which, I believe, is no where near worthy enough to stand along these other works. Why should I waste my time writing about my boring days when everyone else is writing about how they realized they can achieve their dreams? Or, how they have to choose between two lifestyles and are confused as to what to do?
I have not had anything like that come by me.
If it has, I obviously have not seen its significance and probably overlooked it without seeing its importance.
As I sit here on this Sunday night I look back at my high school years and I can't pick out any one specific moment that I can say, "That. That right there changed me forever..."
I'm a 2nd semester senior and I'm finally having one of the realizations that I've wanted for so long, but I understand now that it's not the kind I wanted.
I realize my insignificance.
I want my shining moment that I can say, "That was it. Right there. That made me Spencer."
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Spencer, you just made a great realization. It is both false and true at the same time. You are a great friend to many people, and you influence their lives regardless of how much. You will come to realize this thought of insignificance more than once in your life but you just have to keep pushing forward. One day insignificance will turn into brilliance and you will become a successful man in tomorrow's workforce.
ReplyDeleteI'm still figuring out my true significance, but I have my dreams and aspirations that keep me on track. College has been a great experience that has helped secure my inner self. I feel that next year at NCSU, you will truly find yourself and will no longer live under the close scrutiny of desperate high school students.
Take care and best regards,
Lee